Around the world in 3 minutes, twice a day, with flossing

I am officially an airhead.

According to the results of two recent CT scans (ordered by a cautious GP during periods of frequent migraines last year; all clear), I have abnormally large air pockets throughout my sinus system.

The confirmed airhead status has lead to two things:

1. a possible – even reasonable – explanation as to why my husband cannot bear to be in the same (quiet) room when I’m eating due to the amplified acoustics of my masticating. I always thought he was exaggerating, but now it makes sense that all this extra air around my jaws and teeth is playing havoc with the sound system in my skull. Plus, now I’ve started taking notice, both mum and dad have it. Clearly the genes were against me for ever daintily devouring delicacies (apologies Graeme Base).

2. recently I took my dentist’s advice and bought an electric toothbrush. It occurred to me the other night in a clash of connecting synapses that the vibration of it inside my mouth is like the whirring of a Cessna light aircraft. Not only am I keeping my molars clean, but I’m experiencing turbulence as well.

I was suddenly transported back to the north coast of Papua New Guinea where, as a nine year old, I flew on my first light aircraft. I travelled with my parents on a day trip from the Army barracks near Wewak where we lived, to the small coastal village of Vanimo near the border of then West Irian.

Unfortunately for me, my ear near exploded in the descent to Vanimo, and I remember spending the day writhing in pain and tears and not at all enjoying what would have been a most excellent adventure. No wonder I remember the sound so well 🙂

Last night while bristling around my gums I closed my eyes and imagined, using all the tourist literature and personal experience stored in my grey matter, flying over Ningaloo and seeing the water, reefs, whale sharks, Cape Range, Yardie Creek – dipping and surging with the engine/brush.

Crazy I know, but it makes me realise what a couch potato I was with the hand-operated number.

And who knows where today will take me!

So where are you from, frustrated ceramic tile cleaners?

You’ve obviously come here to try and find some answers, and I’m not sure how helpful I’ll be, but – now you’re here – what brought you here, and from where?


And good luck.

Sorry it’s not interactive – I’m not that flash (and neither is the map, clearly).


Things I’ve learnt about search engines and blogs

Hello! I’m back.

I’ve learnt that if you attempt to write a humorous post about the frustration directed at particular cleaning duties, but include some real words like ‘cleaning ceramic tiles,’ you soon find out just how many frustrated people there are in the world who are trying to clean ceramic tiles.

My blog hits have been through the roof – almost into double digits most weeks *wow*  since my last post in June. And when I have checked the entry URL, it’s invariably a Google search for ‘cleaning ceramic tiles.’
I guess these internet marketing types are on to something.
But they still haven’t made a product that has cleaned my ceramic tiles.

Things I know about cleaning ceramic tiles

Sugar soap
Good for getting off ‘ordinary’ dirt – dust, sand, residual grout etc. NOT good for getting off:

  • dried gyprock splotches
  • cement dust and splotches
  • paint spots

Tip: don’t use too much – you’ll be using bucketloads of water to rinse off the slippery glaze for hours. Guess how I know this.

‘Internet’ mix of white vinegar, warm water and eucalyptus oil
Good for getting off most cement dust and any residual (or fresh) dust, sand etc. NOT good for getting off:

  • dried gyprock splotches
  • cement splotches
  • paint spots

Tip: don’t let the internet Handy Household Hints sites fool you – vinegar is not the cure-all it’s cracked up to be.

Tip 2: neat eucalyptus oil IS good for getting boot polish smears off ceramic tiles. Guess how I know this.

Hardware-store quality tile cleaner – sulfamic acid
Good for getting off residual grout and cement dust and any fresh dust, sand etc. NOT good for getting off:

  • dried gyprock splotches
  • cement splotches
  • paint spots

Tip: when using acid cleaning products, make sure you buy good quality rubber gloves that can withstand chemicals, and wear safety glasses when applying. That way, when you find out that the acid hasn’t worked, at least you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you applied it without being a danger to yourself or others. And that makes such a difference. Guess how I know this.

Hydrochloric acid
Good for getting off dried gyprock splotches (hooray!), cement splotches (hooray!), residual (and fresh – because it just keeps on coming) dust, sand etc. NOT good for:

  • paint spots! Jesus Christ! I just want clean tiles. Okay, I’ll get some acetone. Or maybe some product called Goof Off.

Tip: ensure you have someone else around to apply the HCl because, really, after trying everything else, you’re likely to get careless with the ratio of acid to water, and what good are the rubber gloves and safety glasses if the acid eats what’s left of the grout after the sugar soap, vinegar, eucalyptus oil and sulfamic acid have done their bit. This is a good tip.


To be continued …

Explaining my absence

Our house is being renovated. Life is busy. I’ve got lots to share when I come back.

Thanks for visiting while you wait!

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